I’m mum-shamed for having a baby at 45 – trolls say it’s so sad she’ll be young when I die, they could be gone first | The Sun

AN OLDER mum has hit back at trolls who have mum-shamed her for having a child at 45. 

The mum of four said she had her three sons in her 20’s and then had to her her daughter at aged 45. 

Patti Avery Schmidt said she gets mum-shamed constantly for having a her daughter at an older age.

One commenter said: “When she’s 20 you’ll be 60, that's so sad.”

Patti said: “First of all women having babies in their 40s isn't a new thing childbearing years span decades so why this is shocking to some people is beyond me. I know so many older mums both now and also when I was growing up.”

“One of the most common criticisms that I see online is that it's not fair to have children in your 40s because those children won't have as much time with you as they would if you have them when you were younger.”

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She said: “The truth is nobody knows how much time they have but let's say for the sake of the argument that we all get the same number of years and we all expire on the same exact day." 

“Does that mean that we owe it to the next generation to give birth to them as young as possible? Not everyone is ready or willing to have a baby in their teens or twenties.”

“Even if you do feel ready sometimes finding the right partner can take some time and some people like to become financially stable or reach other goals first."

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Patti explained she had originally planned on having her second child in her 30’s but she suffered miscarriages and infertility issues throughout that decade in her life. 

She said: “It's also really common for people to experience infertility or in my case secondary infertility.”


“I planned on having our last child in my 30s but when I was in my thirties I had miscarriages. The most carefully made plans can be completely out of our control.”

“It's mind-boggling to me that anyone could think a child has more or less right to exist based on the age of her mother.”

“Another common concern is the increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities with advancing maternal age.”

But Patti explained even in her 40’s she still had a very high chance of having a healthy child.

She said: "I had a greater than 97% chance of having a baby with typical chromosomes who was perfectly healthy.”

The mum of four explains she still feels young and full capable of raising her child.

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“Lastly, the idea that older mums have less energy. I've had babies both in my 20s and in my 40s and this hasn't been true for me.”

“I really believe that while there are genetic factors that are out of our control our overall fitness and lifestyle choices have more to do with our mental and physical health than our age does.”

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