Woman says she felt ‘too middle class’ at a coffee morning for mothers

Middle-class mother admits she feels too ‘POSH’ for coffee mornings with working class parents – and fears she comes across as a ‘snob’ if she speaks about her life

  • Mumsnet user claimed she felt ‘too middle class’ at a recent coffee morning 
  • Said she felt self-conscious discussing her baby’s ‘sleep consultant’ 
  • Responses were torn, as many said they had experienced similar situations 
  • Some were working class women who said they struggled with ‘posh’ meet-ups 

A woman admitted she feels too ‘posh’ for coffee mornings with working class parents – and sought advice from others in a similar situation.  

Writing on Mumsnet, the British mother explained that she felt uncomfortable while making conversation with fellow parents at a coffee morning.   

She went on to say that she felt embarrassed by her ‘posh’ way of talking and feared she came across as a ‘snob’ when she spoke about her lifestyle, including how she hired a ‘sleep consultant’ to help with her baby’s bedtime routine. 

The post divided opinion, with some mothers arguing ‘social class’ is a key factor when making friends, while others claimed it did not matter. 

A British woman sparked a debate over the importance of social class when forming and maintaining friendships (file image)

The woman outlined in a Mumsnet thread that she had felt uncomfortable as a middle class mother enjoying a coffee morning with working class parents

Kicking off the discussion, the woman wrote: ‘Most of my friends come from a similar background i.e. we are professionals who live pretty comfortably. 

I was at a coffee morning today and I found myself having to really think about what I was saying. I felt a bit odd talking about my job and lifestyle.’

She continued: ‘Do I need to try to find friends who are more like me or am I just sheltered and needing exposure to different people? 

‘If the latter do I just talk freely and risk coming off like a show off/snob or do I need to constantly be aware off how I come across and keep things to myself?’ 

Many responses to the thread came from women who said they’ve also struggled to get along with people from a different social class

Many agreed they had struggled to maintain friendships with people from different social classes.

One persons said: ‘I would have said you were over thinking however a recent meet up with some mums from preschool changed my mind! 

‘I am from a working class Northern background but now living in the South, professional and affluent.  I am however still coarse and a bit sweary – I don’t think I was to their tastes.’

Another wrote: ‘Birds of a feather flock together. It’s one of the reasons I think I find it hard to make new friends. I have a middle class background but look and speak like I’m working class. 

Others argued they have friends from a variety of backgrounds and told the woman that she’s the problem 

‘I’ve noticed that stereotypical middle class type women are a bit sneering towards me but I don’t fit in with working class ones either really. I’m sort of stuck in a social class wilderness.’

Others accused the woman of having a chip on her shoulder and being obnoxious. 

One posted: ‘I’m from a working class background, both parents left education at 14. I have a PhD and a senior position within my organisation and the salary to match. At uni I had (and still have) a core group of best friends. 

‘I’m not the only one from a working class background, some parents have middle class leftie professional backgrounds, others are corporate high fliers, some are old money/ trust fund types, one genuinely grew up in a castle. If you have to watch what you say for fear of offending the proles, you’re the problem.’

Others said social class is not important when making friends but does make a difference in maintaining them.  

One person wrote: ‘Maybe not in making friends but in keeping them. When people have different levels of disposable income, socialising become challenging i.e. cannot afford types of activities or entertainment.’ 

A number of responses came from those who believe disposable income impacts friendships more than social background

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