DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my partner started drinking heavily after being made redundant, I felt anxious and miserable.
He would shout and swear at me, and couldn’t even acknowledge why I was upset. It brought back memories of being with my abusive ex-husband.
I’m a woman of 44 and my partner is 47. I wrote to you in desperation for help.
I couldn’t face another painful break-up. And I wondered what I’d done to deserve two men like this.
You told me that it wasn’t my fault, but people sometimes unconsciously gravitate to those exhibiting familiar patterns of behaviour.
You advised me to talk to him about my fears when he was sober.
You also recommended I look up adfam.org.uk, which helps the families of people with drinking problems, and sent me your support pack, Dealing With A Problem Drinker.
My partner was horrified at the effect his drinking was having on me.
He is now getting counselling and medical help, and he is on the road to recovery. He starts a new job next week. Thank you.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m so glad your partner took responsibility for his behaviour and is now getting help. I hope his new job goes well.
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