Over the years my mates have become sexually adventurous, even hardcore.
When we were growing up in the boring suburbs, we all had regular girlfriends and behaved.
But since moving to the city and earning decent money, they’ve thrown off their inhibitions and embraced decadency.
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Now my two best mates buy tickets to upmarket sex parties. The others are into swinging and threesomes. They love expensive booze, big thrills and a variety of willing sexual partners.
I’ve enjoyed my fair share of fun over the years, but I’ve calmed down in recent times.
I’ve met a wonderful girl who has branded my mates annoying jerks. The first time I introduced her to my oldest pal, he asked her if she fancied giving him oral sex and she slapped him in the face.
Now she refuses to have anything to do with any of them – she won’t go to their parties or holiday homes.
My mates are furious. They call her “stuck up” and “frigid”. They tell me I’m wasting my time on someone who drags me down.
I feel torn. I love and respect her, but I’ve known “the chaps” for a very long time.
Obviously, I don’t want my girl to pretend to be something she’s not, but it’s hard being stuck in the middle of some strong personalities. I need my mates to stop criticising her, but they say she doesn’t fit in or look right.
Meanwhile, she is doing brilliant work in the NHS. She’s got a great brain and is making a difference.
She’s never come out with it and asked me to drop them, but I think that’s what she’d like. Where do I go from here?
JANE SAYS: Do you even deserve her?
I have to question your loyalty. I’m not suggesting that you should dump your mates the minute a new partner comes along, but she sounds amazing while they sound appalling.
Do you hang around with them because you like them or because old habits die hard? Just because you’ve known these blokes for years doesn’t mean that you must indulge and pacify them.
You don’t have to justify your relationship or her standards and morals to anyone.
I don’t understand why they feel the need to criticise her. They can paint their backsides blue and run around their holiday homes all day long if they want to. Why is it so important that she joins in or approves?
I suspect that this is something of a crossroad for you.
You need to tell them to back off and respect your decisions. If you love your girl, why do you have to keep worrying about other (very shallow) people?
I fear that if you let her slip through your fingers, you may never find anyone as genuine or as loyal again.
Let her know that you care and there’s more to you than image and following the crowd.
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