I am 35 and not easily shocked, as I worked in a hospital before I became a mother.
My husband and I have been married for eight years and have two young children.
At first I tried to brush it off and believe that maybe I was being silly.
But the truth is I feel betrayed, humiliated, duped and violated.
The fact he views this stuff while he is beside me makes me sad and depressed.
I no longer feel desirable, attractive or sexy. I can’t compete with pornography.
We have always had a good sex life in the past.
He is a lovely man in every other way and I know he loves me but I cannot cope with these fantasies he is allowing to dominate his life.
Knowing he is viewing it while I am close by is really distressing for me.
Since I spoke to him, he has wiped the pictures. But I can’t forgive his devious behaviour – or trust he won’t do it again.
DEIDRE SAYS: Men tend to compartmentalise their feelings and attractions more than women.
He probably sees this as having nothing to do with his love for you.
But regular porn use has a numbing effect and it will start to affect your sex life, if it hasn’t already.
Ask him how he would feel if you sat beside him looking at images of naked men all evening.
Be clear that if he still loves you and finds you attractive, he has to show you, not leave you trying to work it out for yourself.
My e-leaflet Upset By Pornography? can help.
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