My girlfriend's abusive ex has made her cold with me – she isn’t affectionate at all | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: AN abusive previous relationship makes my girlfriend quite cold with me.

She isn’t affectionate at all, although she insists that she likes me.

I’ve been seeing her for six months.

We are both 25.

Her previous boyfriend was a bully and controlled her.

She tells me that their relationship was toxic.

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When I go to kiss her, sometimes she’ll kiss me back but she regularly tells me that she isn’t used to that level of affection.

I want to make this work but how long do I wait for her to behave like a normal girlfriend?

I want us to be affectionate with one another and to have a sex life, but sometimes it feels like just friendship instead.


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DEIDRE SAYS: Explain to her how you’d like your relationship to develop and what you would like to change.

If she is still anxious about her previous relationship, encourage her to find help through The National Domestic Abuse Helpline (, 0808 2000 247).

Give her another few months to find support and let’s hope you can both be happy in the long-term.

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