DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though they’re in their forties, my older brothers are big bullies who act like spiteful children.
They play unpleasant practical jokes on people and make insulting remarks, which are sometimes racist or homophobic.
I’m their sister, 35, and am often hurt or embarrassed by them.
Worse, they’re horrible to our mum, calling her “senile” when she forgets things, and telling her they’ll buy her a ticket for Switzerland, which really upsets her.
Not only are the pair of them unpleasant to be around, they are also setting a terrible example to their children. How can I make them change?
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DEIDRE SAYS: These two sound immature and selfish. And sadly, it’s unlikely they will change now they are in their forties.
You can’t alter their behaviour, only how you react to them. It might be worth writing them both a letter, spelling out your feelings, but prepare for it to be ignored.
All you can do is avoid seeing too much of them in future and make sure you support your mum.
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