DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE always loved my boyfriend’s youthful approach to life. He is 45 and still plays football, skateboards and wears fashionable clothes.
But over the last year, I’ve started to get fed up with the way he drools over younger women — it’s destroying our relationship.
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Last summer I caught him cosying up to a woman he works with and now he’s all over his daughters’ social media accounts, constantly complimenting their pretty friends.
He has two daughters from his first marriage, they are 23 and 21.
I’m 39 and have always prided myself on being in good shape and looking young for my age but this is really denting my confidence.
We have been together for seven years and had a busy social life before the pandemic.
He lost his sales job last October and since then seems constantly on edge.
I was very close to walking out after I caught him and this other woman huddled up in the corner of my favourite cafe.
He tried to deny anything was happening but he had his hand on her leg.
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She is in her 20s and looked so confused when he chased after me after I stormed out.
He insisted he was just being friendly and says he’s a “cuddly person”.
Now I’m sure he’s getting close to one of his daughter’s friends.
As soon as she posts on any of her social media accounts he immediately tells her how gorgeous she is.
There is no way I can compete with girls nearly 20 years younger.
It’s so disrespectful. Now instead of loving his fresh attitude to life, I’m wondering what I’m doing with someone who can’t act their age.
DEIDRE SAYS: I wouldn’t be surprised if his wanderings have only gone as far as heavy flirting. That is not to say his behaviour is acceptable.
Infidelity in any relationship covers behaviour that makes one of you feel uncomfortable.
You need to sit him down and explain what your red lines are, and that even if there is no dubious agenda behind his flirting, you feel belittled.
I’m not sure his daughters will be impressed their dad is hitting on their friends either! He may well be having a mid-life crisis.
He’s lost his job, hit his mid-40s and his kids have grown up.
He could be asking himself, what has it all been for?
His behaviour suggests he’s trying to find out but cosying up to young women is not the answer.
My support pack Male Midlife Crisis will explain to both of you how you can strengthen your relationship.
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