I think my 44-year-old boyfriend is keeping our relationship a secret because I'm only half his age

I am 23 while he’s 44 and divorced with grown-up kids. Our relationship is great. He doesn’t look his age and my family are fine about us. It is like there is no age gap.

The problem is I want marriage and kids but he is scared of commitment and doesn’t want more children.

When I try to talk to him about it he gets defensive and says he is giving me all he can give right now and can’t make promises for the future. But that uncertainty scares me.

DEIDRE SAYS: You are probably right to worry.

You are at different life stages and he is unlikely to change how he feels. That is why he refuses to talk about it.

You have to decide how strongly you feel about this.

If it’s a deal-breaker, give him an ultimatum – but you have to be prepared for a “no” and walk away.

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