DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE the fact I adore my boyfriend, whenever we have sex I clam up.
I’m convinced it’s because my ex used to have sex with me while I was asleep. It broke us up in the end.
He thought there was nothing wrong with it. But I hated it. I’d wake up eventually but by then it was over. My ex would climb off me and go to sleep.
I’m 25 and female and he was 24. My new boyfriend is 29 and he is lovely.
We kiss and cuddle but when it comes to being intimate, I freeze.
I’ve had one-night stands before but I was called frigid by one guy and the other one wasn’t complimentary either.
What do you suggest?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Getting some professional help would be good. I’m sorry to say but as you didn’t consent to sex, your ex raped you.
It’s little wonder you can’t settle into a sexual relationship after the traumas of your past.
Explain to your boyfriend that he may have to be patient with you, but you are getting some advice so you can begin to heal.
My support pack Have You Been Raped? will show where to find support.
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