I had sex with a close friend's ex at a wedding and I'm eaten up with shame

DEAR DEIDRE: I WENT to a wedding and had sex with the ex of a very close friend. I think my friend knows what went on and I’m drowning in guilt.

My mate and I are both 24 and have been best pals since secondary school.

One of our school friends got married last month and a lot of the old gang were there, including her ex. He’s 26.

They started dating when they were 16 and were together for four years. He’s still part of the group of old friends we meet in town or at other social events.

My friend has found a new man. They are happy together and sharing a home but she’s still very close to this ex.

The wedding itself and the evening reception were held in a big country house. There was an open bar and of course I drank too much – that’s what you do when you’re booked in to stay overnight.

We were all dancing together and having a really fun time. Then the band played a slowie and just for a laugh, my friend’s ex pulled me towards him and put his arms round me so we could dance close.

When the song ended he said he was hot and needed some air. We went for a quick walk outside and then both felt so tired that we went up to bed.

He had a room on his own as another guy hadn’t turned up. I went in for a coffee and stayed the night.

Having sex with him seemed a romantic idea at the time but next day I knew I’d made a gigantic mistake.

We agreed we’d say nothing about it and just stay friends.

The next morning my friend wasn’t her usual affectionate self at breakfast. I guessed she had noticed her ex flirting with me on the dance floor and that we’d both disappeared early.

I’m eaten up with a terrible shame. She’s such a good friend and I don’t want to lose all that on account of this awful mistake.

Our 25th birthdays are coming up soon and we’ve booked a weekend at a spa.


MORE than 80 per cent of British women experience sexual problems three months after giving birth, and nearly two thirds at six months.

Childbirth is the most common trigger but there is plenty of self-help to try, and expert help available.

My e-leaflet Sex Problems After Childbirth explains.

For a copy, email me at [email protected] or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: You and her ex are both single and free, so you did nothing wrong on that score. Even so, it’s natural that she felt a bit of a pang at what happened that night. They were first loves and you are her best friend. It must have felt odd.

Do not let this fester. Give her a hug and explain it was one of those unplanned things that just happened. She will probably be relieved if you tell her you are not planning to do it again – but that is up to you. Maybe you want to leave that option open.

Get it a out in the open before that shared birthday weekend so you both have a fabulous time.

Did you use protection that night? If not, for your own peace of mind, it is best to be sure you are OK, as in no STIs or unplanned pregnancy. See brook.org.uk, the sexual health and wellbeing experts. Alcohol affects your judgement and can make you do and say things you regret.

READ TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My wife and I don't have sex and it feels like we’re just house mates

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Craig drowns his sorrows as lads tease him over his girl’s saucy snaps

Get in touch with Deidre today

Got a problem? Send an email to [email protected] Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.

Source: Read Full Article