DEAR DEIDRE: I FOUND a box of condoms in my husband’s washbag when he came back from a work trip – it had contained 12, but only five were there.
I thought he had been on an eight-day conference but he came back bronzed and refreshed.
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He normally returns exhausted from drinking late with colleagues and pale from being stuck in an airless conference room.
And instead of stacks of pens and incentive gifts, this time he only had his laptop.
At the time I thought it was strange but didn’t dwell on it.
A couple of days later, I had run out of paracetamol so rummaged through his washbag and that is when I saw the packet. I’m gutted.
He is 35 and I’m 31.
Things haven’t been good between us lately. I had our second baby three months ago and I’ve found it so hard.
My mum has been a godsend, taking my toddler to pre-school and having the baby sometimes so I can sleep.
I’ve not been much fun — I know that — but I never thought he would cheat. We have been married for three years.
We have been offered relocation to Spain but I don’t want to go, which has caused massive arguments.
It would be miserable for us, not knowing anyone and being away from family.
The worst thing is, his trip was to Spain, which is where his head office is located and if we move there, he’ll be closer to whoever he’s been having sex with.
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I feel like walking out on him but I don’t have my own money. Where would I go?
I’m so upset.
DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t go anywhere. Stay at home and talk to him.
You haven’t been snooping – you legitimately went to look for medication and now he needs to give you an explanation.
You admit to being “not much fun” but this is no reason for him to cheat.
Sit down with him and tell him that you found the condoms and you need to know why he would risk your marriage.
If you love one another, you can get through this but it will take a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness. Are you willing to try?
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will show you where to start.
You’re making assumptions about him having a Spanish lover – try to keep an open mind.
Flights from Spain back to the UK are frequent and affordable and a fresh start in a new place might be just what you need.
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