I am tired of pretending sex with my boyfriend is good – I get no pleasure

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T feel anything when I have sex with my boyfriend.

My friends say it is because I have been castrated but how can I tell?

I can feel that there is something inside me, but I don’t feel any pleasure or excitement when we have sex.

I have tried different positions but being on top is no different from being underneath.

I haven’t said anything to my boyfriend because I don’t want to upset him or worry him. I don’t think he is the problem.

I am a woman of 23. My boyfriend is 25. We have been together for a year.

I am getting fed up with pretending everything is good in our sex life when I know it isn’t.

DEIDRE SAYS: Only men can be castrated, so your friends are wrong.

When it comes to sex, there are few nerve endings inside the vagina, so pleasure for a woman is centred around the clitoris, rather than felt through intercourse.

Vaginas don’t have much sensation. For women who enjoy intercourse, the pleasure comes from wanting to feel their partner inside them, relational closeness and the friction on the clitoris and its nerve endings.

My support pack Improving Sexual Sensation explains more.

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