Do YOU have unrealistic expectations of your relationships? Psychologist reveals the eight signs – including not expecting your partner to find other people attractive
- Dr. Lalitaa Suglani is a Chartered Psychologist based in Birmingham
- Also creates content online about mental health topics, sharing it on Instagram
- Recently revealed 8 signs you may have unrealistic relationship expectations
- These include thinking your partner shouldn’t find other people attractive
An expert has revealed eight unrealistic relationship expectations – from needing your partner to ‘complete’ you to not letting them find other people attractive.
Dr Lalitaa Suglani, a chartered psychologist based in Birmingham, shared the information in a post on Instagram, where she has more than 110,000 followers.
In the post, she said that we often have set expectations in our relationships, though we may not be consciously aware of them.
Dr Lalitaa added that when these expectations aren’t met, ‘we can feel frustrated and disappointed, as it leads us to feeling unloved and uncared for’.
Many of us set unrealistic expectations in our relationships, and may not realise we are doing it, according to a psychologist (stock photo)
She added: ‘We can then feel that it’s not working and that it is not this idea of “true love” and want to end it without communicating and working through our expectations.’
However, she noted, we often fail to realise that ‘our expectations are based on our standards, our own ideals, our own terms that are shaped from what we have experienced from our attachments and the world around us’.
Dr Lalitaa reveals 8 unrealistic relationship expectations
1. Not disagreeing with you and wanting them to always take your side.
2. Needing to be part of all your plans.
3. Needing them to ‘complete you’ or do everything to make you happy.
4. They’re not allowed to find other people attractive.
5. Being constantly connected via texts or calls.
6. Needing them to be able to read your mind and know how you’re feeling.
7. To always feel love, connection or excitement.
8. Wanting them to understand you completely.
She continued: ‘Key word here is “OURS”, not theirs. We want the other person to meet our standards, ideals, and goals; but we need to also consider THEIR own expectations of us and find a safe space to talk through these.’
Among the eight unrealistic expectations she listed, was thinking your partner shouldn’t disagree with you, and wanting them to always take your side.
The second point she listed was needing your partner to be part of all your plans.
Thirdly, she said it’s unrealistic to expect your partner to ‘complete you’ or for them to do everything to make you happy.
Not being allowed to find other people attractive was also among the points Dr Lalitaa listed, as was being constantly connected via texts or calls.
Her final three unrealistic relationship expectations included needing your partner to be able to read your mind and know how you’re feeling.
She also cited expecting to always feel love, connection or excitement as being unrealistic within a relationship.
Finally, Dr Lalitaa said, wanting the other person to understand you completely is unrealistic within a relationship.
The psychologist noted that these expectations are not limited to romantic partnerships, but can also crop up in the relationships we have with friends, family members, and work colleagues.
Dr Lalitaa wrote: ‘It is important we can understand what we expect from others and to be able to communicate this to deepen the connections we have with others.
‘Having a connection with someone links back to us feeling safe and secure within our attachment.’
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