Body image expert shares tips to boost sexual confidence after weight gain

For most people, how you feel about your body image can impact your attitude towards sex, and the ability to become aroused.

In many cases, if a woman feels like her body is unattractive, it can lead to lower sexual self-esteem, which often leads to avoidance of sexual activity.

According to research, negative body image is one of the biggest disrupters of sexual enjoyment and desire in women.

Strictly Come Dancing professionals Ola and James Jordan recently spoke out about the effect weight gain has had on their sex life, which is “not as exciting” as it once was.

But they aren’t the only ones, as research in 2019 revealed that one in 10 women in the UK feel self-conscious about their bodies during sex.

While weight gain may impact your mobility in some way, it doesn’t effect your desirability, worth, or your access to sexual pleasure.

One study found that weight status did not impact the volume of sexual activity, as overweight or obese men and women had more regular sexual intercourse compared to those who were not.

HR assistant Hattie, 27, shared the positive impact weight gain has had on her sex life.

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She told Metro: “Perhaps it helped that neither of us noticed our weight gain until we were really thinking about it, but we started having sex so much more after we got fat.

“There’s so much more of us to play with.

“Bellies don’t get in the way of sex, they get involved. Have your partner touch and kiss your new belly,” she advised.

Women who have poor body image often struggle to see themselves as ‘sexy’ – but this is simply untrue.

Certified sex educator Gigi Engle has shared some tips on how to build up sexual confidence after weight gain.

She said: “It helps to reframe the idea that you have to be a certain size to enjoy pleasure.

“Understand that your body is capable of having pleasure and giving pleasure no matter what size you are.”

“You’re still worthy of sexual pleasure, having sexual enjoyment and being appreciated no matter what your body looks like,” she adds.

The expert has revealed some practices to boost your attitude towards sex after bodily changes, including weight gain, weight loss, and injury.

Positive affirmations

Stick positive affirmations around your house, in places where you will often see them, such as the mirror, fridge, or cupboard doors.

A good example could be: “My body is sexy.”

Mirror appreciation

Embrace your boy image and focus on the areas that you like about yourself.

When you come out of the shower, take a moment to look at yourself naked in the mirror .

Gigi said: “Just sort of look at yourself. And instead of pointing out a bunch of things that you don’t like about yourself, point out things that you do like about yourself, like your lips or your boobs.”

This way of thinking encourages positive reinforcement, and after a few attempts, it will feel natural to compliment yourself.


The sex expert recommends masturbation to help boost sexual confidence.

She suggests: “I would start rebuilding the sex that you’d have with yourself before bringing in the partner because when people masturbate more their self image improves.”

Change your perspective

Consider the positive experiences your will gain from sex, rather than focusing on your body and weight.

This could include the benefits of feeling closer to your partner, or the pleasure of an orgasm.

Your worries about body weight and its impact on your sex life will soon fade away when you change your perspective.

Gigi explained: “The more you can positively reinforce that your body’s capable and deserving of having pleasure, the more comfortable you will feel in your skin, and the less perturbed you will be about any weight gain.”

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