How confident are you that you and your partner are in it for the long haul? Does it seem like they really are the one, but you just want to be totally sure? After all, it’s not always so easy to just open up your heart and be vulnerable in that way. Good news: According to relationship experts, there are some clear signs your relationship will last, because you’re on the right track and you’ve found your person. You just need to know what to look for.
Dr. Rebekah Montgomery, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationships and helping couples prepare for marriage, previously told Elite Daily the first step is learning to trust your own gut instincts. "Knowing if someone is the one is often about learning to hear your own inner voice and trusting your judgment," explained Dr. Montgomery. "We know when something feels healthy and right." That’s definitely a good start, but there are also several more ways to confirm that you and your partner are truly on the right track, and that the relationship won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. Here’s what the experts consider signs that your relationship has what it takes to go the distance.
1. You just enjoy being around them.
How much do and your partner simply enjoy being around one another? Dr. Gary Brown, a prominent relationship therapist in Los Angeles, previously told Elite Daily, “If you look forward to waking up next to them and look forward to seeing them at the end of the day," it can tell you a lot about the health and longevity of your relationship.
Lesli Doares, couples’ consultant and marriage coach at Foundations Coaching, agreed. “There will be a feeling of comfort, like you fit together. You can be yourself without fear of rejection or criticism," Doares previously told Elite Daily. "No aspect of their life will be separate from you. That doesn’t mean you are always together, but just that there are no secrets," she said.
Online dating coach Andi Forness added that, when you are together, you can also judge the health and viability of the relationship by how much you want to connect with one another. “The right one for you will make you feel inspired to connect with them physically and emotionally,” she previously told Elite Daily. Forness also noted that, while relationships go through ebbs and flows, this connection will help when you hit a rough patch. "[It] will make you want to resolve your problems in a manner that will bring you closer, not apart," she said.
2. You bring out the best in one another.
Another sign you have a relationship that’s meant to last is who you become when you’re together, explained Forness. “[The right partner] is the person that inspires you to be the best version of yourself at any given stage,” she said.
Doares added that this happens when both of you truly accept each other for who you are. “[They make] you feel loved and secure. You are able to be yourself and feel accepted. They make you want to be your best self and they bring that out in you," explained Doares. "You don’t feel scared of their reaction if you want to tell them something that may be hard, either to say or for them to hear. There is balance in how you interact."
3. You trust and value one another.
For a relationship to survive long-term, there needs to be both trust and respect between you and your partner. If you have that, relationship and etiquette expert April Masini believes you have what it takes to go the distance. The inverse is also true. “If you can’t ask your partner a question and trust their answer, their word is no good to you, and that’s not the basis for a healthy relationship,” Masini previously explained to Elite Daily.
Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, emphasized that the trust and respect has to go both ways. “[If your partner] regularly asks for your suggestions on advice and includes you in important decisions in their life," that’s a good sign, she previously told Elite Daily.
For matchmaking and dating expert Stef Safran, the likelihood that a relationship can stand the test of time can be measured by how much you can trust your SO to follow through with what they say. "When someone cares about what you think of them, they make sure that their promises to you matter," Safran previously told Elite Daily.
4. You have healthy conflict.
In all relationships, there will inevitably be some conflict, but the experts agree that how you deal with it says everything about how long the relationship will last. "Relationships are often easy and fun in the beginning. You want to navigate challenges together and know you can come out on the other side stronger," Dr. Montgomery previously said. "You want to know you can be vulnerable and share the deep, scary stuff with your partner and feel closer after. Those things take time, but are more important than [the actual amount of] time."
Masini noted that the frequency of conflict can also be a sign of how long the relationship will last. “Couples who bicker more than they agree are headed in the wrong direction. But if you are able to overcome, compromise and work out your differences, your relationship is headed in the right direction,” she explained.
5. You both want to share your lives together.
How comfortable are you and your SO in integrating one another into your lives? Your answer, as Danielle Forshee, licensed clinical social worker, previously told Elite Daily, is perhaps the clearest sign that your relationship is going all the way. “[If they] integrate their life with yours by filling you in on a regular basis (most likely daily) of the details of their day as well as sharing with you their thoughts and feelings about some aspects of their day," that’s a positive sign, according to Forshee. "They also will tell you personal things to help you understand them on a deeper level,” she added.
Doares added that this enmeshment should feel both natural and loving. "There will be a feeling of comfort, like you fit together. You can be yourself without fear of rejection or criticism," Doares said. "No aspect of their life will be separate from you. That doesn’t mean you are always together, but just that there are no secrets."
In the end, it really all comes back to what Dr. Montgomery said: It’s OK to trust your gut to tell you if your relationship is the right fit for both of you. Once you know that, you can just relax and have faith in the relationship and the fact that you two really are endgame material.
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