I’m a pizza obsessive—as any good New Yorker should be. My denim jacket is emblazoned with the word P I Z Z A on the back, I served pizza as late-night food at my wedding, and I cried for weeks when my neighborhood pizza joint closed down earlier this year (it’s still hard to walk by the abandoned storefront).
So naturally, when I heard about a place called Tony Boloney’s—phenomenal name btw—serving what may be the craziest pizza of all across the river in Hoboken, New Jersey, I had to try it. What I knew: That the owner was TOPPING a cheese pie with tacos, guacamole, and sour cream. What I didn’t know: how f-ing crazy he really was.
Mike Hauke, the founder, got this idea when he was stoned (how else are you gonna dream up this sh*t?!) and some youths stumbled in on Taco Tuesday demanding tacos. Hauke didn’t want to disappoint them and had a moment of brilliance: Put tacos on pizza!
He didn’t stop there: The 30-pound, $80 monster is a force to be reckoned with (on a very empty stomach). The three types of tacos—mezcal-marinated steak, chicken, and brisket—are all cooked with melty Oaxacan cheese and then stuffed into homemade tortillas. Assembling the pie is real work: You make a ring of tacos around the crust (three per slice) and then spoon a pool of guac into the center. (Side note: If you haven’t tried guacamole on pizza, do it RIGHT NOW.) A drizzle of sour cream and a horseradish crema are the final touches.
It might sound INSANE and wrong and an abomination to pizza, but please. It’s an undeniably delicious mash-up. Is it impossible to eat? Kinda. Do you care? Not one bit—grab a bib. Is it better than a classic slice? Probably not, but the novelty is enough to make you forget all about pepperoni.
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