Neighbour in tears after tired mum sends apologetic note saying she’s trying the ‘cry-it-out’ method to her kid sleeping

A NEIGHBOUR was left in tears after a shattered mum sent an apologetic note saying she was trying the “cry-it-out” method to get her kid to sleep. 

They shared a photo of the sweet letter, which invited them to pop round for milk, sugar, eggs or tequila if they needed it. 

The letter was written by the “tired and sorry” mum, and started off: “Apartment 207 here. I regret to inform you that we have begun sleep training our son.

“After many sleepless nights thanks to the dreaded 4-month sleep regression, we have decided it is time to start the cry-it-out method.

“If you have the cries please pray for me and know I am also crying and going insane.

“I’m very sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you, let’s hope it doesn’t last long.”

The mum explained she was going to try it for four days and then if it didn’t work, was going to have a break for a week or two and then try again. 

They added: “Please know I am not neglecting him, but I will let him try to self-soothe for 45-60 minutes at a time during this period.

“I will be in the room every 5-10 minutes to reassure him he is not alone and is okay.

“If you start to feel hatred towards us just give us a friendly knock on the door and I will bring you a shot of tequila to mend our neighbor-ship.

“It’s cheap tequila but it will calm your nerves, it’s been tested and proven to work by yours truly. 

“Any-how keep us in your prayers and turn the TV volume up.

“If you need milk, sugar, or eggs we have some. And tequila too just swing by.”

They signed the letter off from “tired and sorry neighbors.”

If you start to feel hatred towards us just give us a friendly knock on the door and I will bring you a shot of tequila to mend our neighbor-ship.

The letter was shared on social media with a crying emoji, and people were quick to comment on the neighbour’s approach. 

One said: “With a note like that i would not care what they do.”

Another added: “We need more neighbors like them in the world.”

Parents have long debated whether to leave a crying baby for a short time to see if it can soothe itself before being reassured.

Experts studied 178 children and their caregivers to update the decades-old former research.

They quizzed parents on their child’s frequency of crying and their use of “crying it out”.

Controlled crying according to Mumsnet

Mumsnet reiterates that parents shouldn't make the mistake of thinking that controlled crying is the same as letting a baby cry themselves to sleep.

They say: "Gurus of the method recommend that you put your baby in their cot, settle them, then leave the room.

"If they start crying, wait for five minutes before going in to comfort them. Then leave the room again.

"If your baby continues crying, repeat the process, waiting two minutes longer each time before you go back to comfort him (so wait seven minutes the second time, nine minutes the third time and so on).

"The longer intervals are supposed to teach your baby that you won't automatically come to them when they cry. Eventually, the idea is that babies learn to go to sleep by themselves."

Why Mumsnetters like it: “It took me two very stressful evenings and then it worked.”

Why it might not work: “This is a quick fix solution in that it can work after just three days. But the first night is always horrendous and some of you might simply not be able to stand it. It can be heartbreaking listening to your child crying for you.”

Their key points to remember include:

  • the method isn't suitable for babies younger than six months
  • be consistent
  • crying may escalate after you've checked in on them
  • your baby won't love you any less in the morning

Source: Mumsnet

The team found that leaving a baby to itself had no effect on infant-mother attachment after six months.

Cognitive tests and play sessions showed there was no difference, either, in behavioural development at 18 months.

Sobbing bouts at 18 months were shorter in babies left to cry it out more often a few times after they were born, and regularly at three months.

The experts said many parents responded intuitively to babies, going to them immediately when they cried when younger but, as they got older, waiting to see if their baby could calm itself.

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However, Professor Helen Ball, a Director of Parent-Infant Sleep Lab, told pregnancy site BellyBaby: “From an evolutionary anthropological view point, human infant crying is an identical behaviour to the separation distress call displayed by infants among other primate species.

"Crying is the infant’s only means of attracting their mother’s (carer’s) attention once separated, in order to ensure their own survival.

Responding to their infant’s cry is an instinctive behaviour of human mothers. To resist the urge to approach her crying infant is emotionally and physiologically stressful for mothers. Leaving an infant to cry is therefore evolutionarily inappropriate and biologically detrimental to both mother and baby."

Meanwhile, mums are going wild over Asda’s £1.30 Bedtime Massage Mist that ‘helps kids fall asleep in 10 minutes’.

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