A WOMAN has taken to Reddit to complain after her midwife shamed her for her "trashy" piercing.
The mum-to-be posted on the website's popular Am I The Asshole? forum questioning whether she or her midwife was in the wrong, as she explained that her regular doctor was on holiday when she went into the clinic after "something came up".
"When I got to the clinic for my checkup the nurse came in and after the usual I asked if I could talk to the on call doctor," she wrote, explaining that she'd never dealt with that nurse before.
Once she asked the nurse, she was told the on call doctor was running behind and might not be able to see her, and asked what the issue was to see if she could help herself.
When she told her about her CHP (her clitoral hood piercing), the nurse "looked at me blankly", so she "elaborated".
"She then kind of rolled her eyes and told me that she wasn't getting the on call doc to ask about that and I would need to figure out what to do with my body jewellery on my own," the woman continued.
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While the mum-to-be said she wanted to get the doctor's take on it, the nurse went onto the computer and read the clinic protocol on that kind of piercing, at which point she advised the woman to take it out.
"I asked her if I could put a retainer in to keep it safe to replace it after birth and she told me I should take the opportunity to 'let go of trashy piercings and leave it since I was becoming a mom'," she recalled.
"I was SHOCKED."
When she told her friends about the situation, the majority of them "were shocked too".
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But one of her pals, who is studying to become a nurse, scolded her for making the nurse uncomfortable and said it "would be wrong of me to report her or anything because it's not her job to have to listen to unsolicited information about 'kinky stuff' and I was violating her consent in that conversation which is something that happens too often to medical workers".
She concluded by asking whether or not she was the asshole for asking the nurse "such a personal question and pressing for an answer when she clearly didn't approve".
However, the majority of people on the post insisted that the woman wasn't in the wrong.
"NTA (not the a*shole). Your question was totally reasonable," someone wrote.
"And she sucks for implying that a piercing is somehow 'inappropriate' for a mother to have."
" It was a smart question asked at the right time in the correct setting," another added.
"What was inappropriate was the nurse calling it 'kinky' and 'trashy.' The nurse needs to check her hangups at the door."
While a third wrote: "I would have reported that nurse immediately if I were (the original poster).
"I'm super appreciative of healthcare employees especially during Covid times but this is totally inappropriate and unacceptable.
"I'm honestly outraged."
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Another comment came from a nurse, who wrote: "Nurse chiming in here—it may not be 'her job' to know about 'kinky stuff' but it’s 100% her job to make sure she can offer you a reasonable solution that doesn’t involve being rude or condescending.
"100% report her a*s because too many people get away with s**t like that."
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