Nuns, sailors, roundabouts all feature in the round up of dodgy 2019 calendars

Captain Birds Eye may be an advertising icon, but do you really want to look at him for 365 days a year?

His bosses certainly think so and have created a 2019 calendar in his honour, featuring the beardy captain as you have never seen him before.

There is Captain Birds Eye relaxing by the sea, and then our sailing charmer is sharing a kiss under the Mistletoe.

But if you think that is the most bizarre calendar to hit the shops this Christmas, then think again.

Roundabouts



You’d be making a wrong turning with this calendar
 

A roundabout is apparently an oasis on a sea of tarmac, so says Kevin Beresford, president of the UK Roundabout Appreciation Society.

So what better to hang on your wall for 2019 than a calendar featuring the Best of British Roundabouts.

It features 12 ripping roundabouts from around the UK all on high-quality colour paper for just £9.99

Nuns



Nuns are at it all year around
 

They work hard, they pray hard and they do it with gusto! So says the promo for the Nuns Having Fun calendar.

There are nuns leading an Irish jig, a nun on a motorbike, and a nun holding a loft her catch of the day – a string of fish. A holy bargain at £9.99.

Donald Trump



What a thing to have to stare at
 

He polarises opinion like no other, but we can all agree that Donald Trump has got the outrageous one-liner down to a fine art.

So why not treat your loved ones to a calendar featuring the very best Trump-isms from his early days right up to him being the 45th president of the United States of America.

It has some real gems including “Part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich,” and “I know Hillary and I think she’d make a great president….” With a page for every day of the year it is £11.99.

Toilets



When you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go. So this calendar featuring toilets around the world could come in handy if ever you are caught short.

From candy-striped beach hut loos, to one that basically consists of a couple of sheets of corrugated iron, they go from the sublime to the ridiculous. £9.99

Family



Awkward Family Photos 2019 Day-to-Day Calendar
 

We’ve all had an awkward family photo that will never see the light of day. But some families have happily added theirs to a 2019 calendar.

There is the one where all the family members appear to be picking their noses, and another where dad’s face is completely covered by a huge balloon held by a child with her back to the camera.

Do you really want them on your wall for £11.13?

Goats



We are not kidding
 

If you are a fan of goats then this one is for you. A wall calendar exclusively featuring goats hanging casually in trees.

Apparently in some remote regions goats head to the top of tress where vegetation is plentiful Who knew?

From £8.00

Kilts



Do you want to go on a date?
 

Real men do wear kilts according to the Kilty Pleasures 2019 calendar which features hunks in various sultry poses whilst wearing a kilt.

Each page has a tongue in cheek caption like “Scotch on the rocks” or “Is my Scottish showing?

For tartan lovers everywhere. From £7.50

Cats



The dark side of the puss
 

If you like cats and you like Star Wars, then this is the one for you. The 2019 Cat Wars calendar features cats in various Star Wars poses including brandishing a light sabre.

May the force be with you for £8.00.

Poop



Wipe your feet on this collection of dates
 

It is the self-proclaimed crappiest calendar out there. In the most literal of senses. The Pooping Pooches calendar features dogs taking a poo wherever and whenever nature calls.

There is French Bull Dog relieving itself on the beach, and of course December sees the snow being turned brown.

Anyone can enter their defecating dog to become a calendar boy or girl and a percentage of the proceeds goes to charity.

Mattresses



The comfortable calendar
 

Nothing says Happy New Year like a calendar filled with pictures of abandoned mattresses.

The cover shot sets the tone – a grubby dumped mattress scrawled with the words “you slept with someone else”.  All yours for just £7.99

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