Piers Morgan brags about being named UK’s secret crush

Perhaps it’s because his early-morning TV slot catches people when they’re not quite awake yet and still half dreaming.

Perhaps it’s because his sheer social media ubiquity means it’s impossible to stop thinking about him even if you want to.

Perhaps it’s just that ;they’re famous, so I suppose I had better fancy them’ effect.

For whatever reason, Piers Morgan has topped a poll of the nation’s weird crushes.

heat magazine polled its readers top find out their secret crushes, and while understandable sex symbols such as copper-topped Strictly heartbreaker Neil Jones and cake-loving peacock über-goth Noel Fielding made the list, the top 25 secret crushes include some genuinely bizarre choices.

Generously upholstered This Morning presenter Eamonn Holmes might be half understandable, in a sort of cuddly way, but scrotum-chinned CGI genocidal fig-man Thanos from The Avengers makes Number 24.

This is a seriously weird list.

Nevertheless Piers is delighted to have topped the poll. He says he thinks co-presenter Susanna Reid will be ‘jealous’ of his ranking and describes the honour as ‘one of the greatest accolades he’s ever had’.

He said “I’m a very modest guy by nature. I’ll probably just tell millions and millions of people. My thoughts at this difficult moment are people on the longlist.

“I feel for Kanye West . Poor old Kim Kardashian’s woken up to the fact that more people fancy me than her husband.”

On a day when Richard Madeley and Kate Garraway have been daydreaming about the Britain’s Got Talent judge presenting Good Morning Britain in his birthday suit, this is a very strange week for Piers Morgan.

And an even stranger one for everybody else.

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