Ferne McCann attempted to explain the reason behind the voice notes she sent about former BFF Sam Faiers as she finally discussed the scandal that engulfed her last year.
The pregnant former TOWIE star was seen breaking down to pal James 'Arg' Argent on the first episode of the latest series of her ITVBe show, Ferne McCann: First Time Mum.
Ferne, 32, was in floods of tears as she told Arg where her mindset was at the time of sending the voice notes five years ago. Edited sections of the clips were leaked to the public via an anonymous Instagram account in the latter half of 2022.
In them, she could be heard talking disparagingly about people including her former pals, Sam and her sister Billie Shepherd, calling Sam a "fat c***" and a "narcissistic b***h".
Speaking to Arg, she said: "I think the place that I was at, Sam had it all. She had a partner she had a baby and I didn't.
"Yeah, I'm not condoning it. I did say something really nasty about her and it has affected my friendships. At the moment, my friendship with Billie… You know how much I… [cries] It's really hard."
While Arg was still friendly to Ferne, who he's been pals with for a long time, he sternly told her the voice notes "were not your finest hour" to which she agreed.
He then asked her if she could sort out the situation and if she had contacted Billie, she said: "Yes and no, I understand the position she's in… I've tried to message her lots but I get it.
"I'm very much mourning the loss of a 22-year friendship. It's hard. I massively regret it but I'm unable to do a lot apart from my trust in the police, try and patch things back together…"
Elsewhere on the show, Ferne said that she sent the voice notes at a time when she and Sam had fallen out, as she insisted she was "really hurting" when she made them.
While Ferne didn't go into details, five years ago she was facing the prospect of being a single mum after her ex-boyfriend Arthur Collins was jailed for an acid attack in a club, while she was pregnant with their daughter Sunday.
She said: "When I listen back to the voice notes about [Samantha], I am literally…. I am so ashamed and embarrassed and I know the words are really hurtful and it was at a time when I was really hurting,"
"Just to explain, they were from five years ago when me and Sam had fallen out. It's really hard for me to talk about."
Ferne also revealed that she "knows" who is behind the anonymous Instagram account that leaked the clips under the alias Lady Whistledown, in reference to the fictional character in Bridgerton.
In order to promote the new series, Ferne appeared on This Morning on Wednesday, where she tearfully publicly apologised for the voice notes.
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