Carolyn White has some thoughts about how New York City shops come up with their names.
“Like the clothing store on the East Side, A Second Chance. That basically means your style failed the first time,” said the 12-year-old. “Or what about Drug Loft? That totally doesn’t stir up suspicion.”
The Upper West Sider was named the funniest kid in the country last Sunday, at Kenan Thompson’s Ultimate Comedy Experience — a stand-up competition for kids ages 8 to 18.
“First off, I want to apologize for my voice,” she said to a full house at Carolines comedy club last Sunday during the finals. “I know it sounds like a chipmunk on helium, but don’t worry, guys — it’s only five minutes.”
The sixth-grader, who attends the Hewitt School, beat out 16 finalists (narrowed down from 100) selected from five cities across the country. Her zingers tend to be pretty friendly for all ages, although she does occasionally get controversial: “Aren’t donuts just super sweet bagels? And aren’t bagels just super-bland donuts?”
According to “Saturday Night Live” star Thompson, Carolyn won the showcase because “she is very firm in her identity and what she thought was funny, and that resonated with the audience. I can definitely see her running her own variety show one day.”
Although Carolyn’s a huge fan of “SNL,” she has always watched the show the next day because her bedtime is 10 p.m. But all that will change when as part of her winner’s prize she gets to go behind the scenes at the iconic show with Thompson, one of its longtime stars.
Still, it’s classic comedians she admires most.
“I love Steve Martin and Robin Williams’ old stuff,” she said, adding that “Roxanne” and “Mrs. Doubtfire” are among her favorite movies.
“I fell in love with their eccentric personalities and how they are willing to play such quirky roles.”
Her own dreams include being a professional comedian and actor, and starring on a Nickelodeon show.
“I want to be as quirky, energetic and original as [Martin and Williams] but still me,” said Carolyn, who has an older brother, noting that her parents — mom’s an English teacher and dad an IT consultant — are stoking her funny bone.
“My mom also showed me Tig Notaro’s stand-up, and . . . it sort of sent me into shock. I was surprised that she had the guts to come out and talk about her cancer like it was a normal thing to talk about.”
As “the funny, weird one who reads at lunch,” Carolyn admitted her humor helps her make friends, like when she cracked up her new classmates last fall.
While video-chatting with pen pals for English class, they were trying to guess what state she’s from and asked what her state flower is. “I don’t know what the state flower is,” the native New Yorker told them. “But it’s probably a weed.”
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